COPING WITH STRESS
DR. JIM DIXON
2 TIMOTHY 3:1
SEPTEMBER 10, 1995
In the last days, there will come times of stress. That’s what the Bible prophesies. The Greek word is “chalepos.” This word literally means “hard.” It was used to describe anything that was hard to deal with or hard to bear. God wants us to understand that in the last days, life itself will be hard, hard to deal with, hard to bear.
Our Lord Jesus Christ said that in the last days there would come great tribulation. The Greek word is “thlipsis.” It is one of the stress words in the Bible. It literally means pressure. In the last days there shall come great pressure. God only knows if we are in the last days but all of us know that today we live stressful lives. All of us know that at times we feel pressure. All of us know that sometimes life seems hard, hard to deal with, hard to bear. As Christians, God wants us to cope.
This morning, I would share three prescriptions from scripture on how we can cope with the stress of life. First of all, through the encouragement of Christian friends. If we’re going to cope with life in this world, we need, the Bible tells us, the encouragement of Christian friends.
Cameron Wilson was hit in the head by a baseball at a Rockies game just a few weeks ago. Cameron is only 6 years old. The baseball hit him in the head and he received a skull fracture and a bruise of the left temporal lobe of the brain. He was at Denver General Hospital for a few days and it was pretty scary for a while but Cameron’s going to be okay. Cameron received an awful lot of support, an awful lot of encouragement, and it has helped him make it through.
Eric Young, the second baseman for the Colorado Rockies, came by the hospital because Eric was the guy that hit the ball that struck Cameron in the head. Eric came by just to say hello, just to see how Cameron was doing, to talk to him for a bit and to sign the baseball that hit Cameron in the head. Suddenly, that baseball seemed pretty good to Cameron. Of course, even Dinger the Dinosaur, the Rocky mascot, came by the hospital bearing gifts. He brought another ball that he signed and a few others had signed. He brought a jersey and a mitt. He brought various gifts and even the Colorado Rockies sent gifts as a team. They sent a baseball bat signed by every member of the Colorado Rockies except for Andres Galarraga who was out of town when the bat was signed. Of course, the newspapers covered the story locally and nationally, even USA TODAY. That’s a great deal of support, a great deal of encouragement. There were flowers and cards.
Now we all take hits. Maybe we don’t take a hit to the head. We take a hit to the heart or maybe to the pocketbook. We receive wounds financially, relationally, emotionally, medically. I mean we all are wounded at various times and we all take hits. But, you see, the problem is we don’t all get the support and the encouragement that Cameron got. For some people it’s really tough. You tell someone about your problems, you tell someone about the woundedness that you’re experiencing and they don’t want to hear it. They’ve got problems of their own. They’ve got wounds of their own. If we’re going to make it, if we’re going to make it in this life, if we’re going to make it in this world, we all need a few good friends. As Christians, we need a few good Christian friends.
The Bible says in Proverbs 17:17, a great verse, the Bible says “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17. Family and friends. If they’re really friends, they love us at all times and especially in the midst of adversity. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes, chapter 4, verses 9 and 10, “Two are better than one for if one falls the other is there to bear him up or to bear her up.” You see, we need the encouragement of Christian friends.
Sociologists tell us that it’s not so easy to find a friend anymore. In the midst of a world that is increasingly mobile, families are scattered all over the country and a lot of family members don’t live so close to each other anymore. Neighborhood communities are breaking down and there’s not a lot of conversations anymore over the backyard fence.
Where do you find a friend? Where do you find a Christian friend? Hopefully right here at church. That’s one reason we have cell ministries in this church. It’s one reason we have cell groups in this church that you might not only grow in your knowledge of the Word and in your love for Christ but that you might grow in your love for one another and that you might find Christian friends right here. That’s why we encourage you to become part of a cell group in this church and not just that you might find some friends but that you might be a friend, that you might encourage somebody else who is wounded, somebody else who has taken a hit, somebody else who is hurting, that you might be there for them.
The first prescription, I would say this too: we live in a world that is a tough world. We desperately need the church to be a place different from the world. You know, ichthyologists and oceanographers and marine biologists have studied sharks and dolphins and discovered, and I don’t think this would surprise any of us, but discovered there’s a tremendous difference between sharks and dolphins. Both travel in schools through the oceans of the world. Sharks travel in schools and they travel at great speeds. They travel together in apparent harmony but when a shark is wounded, when a shark rubs against a coral reef, when a shark is cut, the brother and sister sharks attack the wounded shark. In fact, the greatest enemy for a shark, the greatest natural enemy, is another shark. Those sharks come and actually devour the wounded brother or sister.
Well, dolphins are not like that. Marine biologists tell us that dolphins also travel in schools through the oceans of the world. They travel in harmony but the harmony is real. When a dolphin is injured, when a dolphin rubs against a coral reef, when a dolphin is cut, the other dolphins come to support. They even gather food for the wounded dolphin. Of course, the dolphins know that if a wounded dolphin is allowed to just descend to the ocean floor, that dolphin will die because dolphins are not fish. Dolphins are mammals. They have lungs and they need air and they need to surface regularly for the sake of air. So when a dolphin is wounded and starts to descend, other dolphins actually come beneath that dolphin and lift the wounded dolphin on their back all the way to the surface of the ocean that that wounded dolphin might breathe.
You see, there’s a lot of sharks in the world, a lot of sharks, but the church of Jesus Christ should be a place where there’s dolphins, a place where we can receive the encouragement and the ministry of Christian friends. The second prescription biblically for coping with life in this world is the perspective of the Christian faith. If we’re going to cope in this world, we need the encouragement of Christian friends but we also need the perspective of the Christian faith.
King George III was King of England. It is a fact of history that on July 4, 1776 King George III wrote in his journal, “Nothing happened today.” July 4, 1776, “Nothing happened today.” Of course, there was revolution in the colonies and the Continental Congress had ratified the Declaration of Independence, but for King George III nothing happened. Why did he feel like that? Basically, because he was ignorant. You see, he lived in a world where there was no high-tech communication. It is said that ignorance is bliss and certainly that was true for King George III. He had a great day that day, even though his empire was falling apart. A great day because in his world it took weeks and even months for communication to travel from one part of the world to another. We live in a different world today. When things go wrong, we know about it very rapidly. We’re all in the know. If a loved one dies, even if that loved one lives in another state or in another part of the world, we know about it that day, perhaps even in minutes. If our investments in the stock market aren’t doing well, we can read about it in the morning newspaper every day.
In the world of King George III, when people had cancer they didn’t even know it. They lived and died not even knowing they had cancer. In our world, we’re in the know. We have medical doctors who are there to give us the bad news. “You have cancer.” They’ll even tell us how long we have to live. We not only can receive the bad news regarding what’s going on in our own lives but every day we’re bombarded with what’s going on in the world with respect to bad news. You hear about it in the news at night and you read about it in the newspapers in the morning.
How does God want us, as Christians, to cope? Well, He wants us to have a perspective of faith, a perspective of faith. There’s no way we can live life in this world unless we have a faith perspective. That means, first of all, that we expect the good. If you have faith in Jesus Christ, you expect the good no matter what you’re going through. In Romans 8:28, the Apostle Paul writes “We know that in everything God works for good for those who love Him and those who are called according to His purpose.”
So as Christians, if we really believe in Jesus Christ as Lord of life, Savior from sin, in the midst of, I mean I don’t know what you’re going through today, but in the midst of it God wants you to expect the good because God can bring good from every circumstance and situation. You may have heard the very old story of the Chinese farmer who had his horse run away one day. The next-door neighbor came over, saw what had happened, and the next door neighbor said “That’s bad.” The Chinese farmer just smiled. The next day the horse came back, bringing 20 wild stallions and led them all right into the farmer’s corral. Suddenly, the farmer had 21 horses. The next-door neighbor came and saw what happened and said “That’s good.” The farmer just smiled. The next day the farmer’s only son broke his leg trying to tame one of the wild stallions. The next-door neighbor came over, saw what happened and said “That’s bad.” The farmer just smiled. The next day a Chinese warlord came through the region recruiting all able-bodied men to go off to war, but the farmer’s son didn’t have to go because he had injured his leg. Those who went never came back, but the farmer’s son lived a long full life.
Well, isn’t it true? I mean isn’t it true that in life you really don’t know what circumstances mean? I mean certain things look bad and they turn out pretty good and some things look good and turn out pretty bad. But you see, if you’re a Christian, if you really believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, you’re not just a victim. You’re not just a victim. There’s no meaningless pain. “All things can work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.” So, you see, if we have a perspective of faith, it’s easier to cope because we expect the good. If we really have a perspective of faith, we not only expect the good but in every circumstance we look for the good when we look for the good in every circumstance of life.
You know, the Apostle Paul, in Philippians, chapter 4, wrote these words: he said “Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there be any excellence, if there be anything worthy of praise, think on these things.”
Now Paul didn’t have an easy life. We’re told in 2 Corinthians, chapter 11, that the Apostle Paul received the Jewish 39 lashes five different times. We’re told that three times he was beaten with rods. We’re told that he was stoned. We’re told that he was shipwrecked three times. We’re told that he was adrift at sea. We’re told that he experienced danger in the city and danger in the wilderness, danger from rivers, danger from robbers. We’re told that he had sleepless nights. We’re told that he experienced hunger, he experienced thirst, extreme cold and exposure, but yet, you see, in all these things he said “What is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is good, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, etc., think on these things.” In all circumstances Paul said “Rejoice always. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” If we would do this, if we would have this perspective of faith, we need to look for the good in the midst of every circumstance of life.
You know how it is when you buy a new car? Suddenly, you notice other cars exactly like your car. You never noticed them before, but you have a different perspective. When Barb and I leased a Pathfinder, suddenly we noticed that there are a lot of Pathfinders out there. When we leased a blue Pathfinder, we noticed there were a lot of blue Pathfinders out there. A different perspective when you’re looking for something you weren’t looking for before.
You see, if you’ve become a Christian, you have a different perspective. You should be looking for God in everything, looking for Christ and His handiwork in everything. If I asked you right now to look for the color blue, I mean you might not know exactly where to look. You might notice blue here and there, but you’ll begin to notice it in places you never saw it before because you have a different perspective. You might even see a little bit of blue in those chairs if you look at them closely because, you see, suddenly you have a blue perspective.
Well, as Christians, we’re called to have a Christ-perspective. Of course, God wants us to not be grumblers or complainers but to rejoice always and to give thanks in all circumstances. This is His will for us and this is the way that we are to cope with life.
I saw a cartoon sometime back. It was about a guy named Steve. This cartoon had five pictures. In the first picture, Steve was getting fired at work. In the second picture of the cartoon, Steve’s wife was leaving him. In the third picture, he was getting run over by a car. Things weren’t going well for Steve. In the fourth picture, Steve was in a hospital room with one leg in traction and Steve was saying “Why me, God? Why does everything happen to me?” Then in the fifth and final picture, you see the ceiling in Steve’s hospital room open up, heaven revealed, the hand of God coming down into Steve’s hospital room, the finger of God right to Steve’s chest and the voice of God saying “Because you bug me, Steve.”
Now I’ve got to admit, I found that kind of funny when I read it but is that good theology? Can we bug God? You better believe we can bug God. You can bug God. I can bug God. You know, when we bug God, I mean, He loves us but do you know when we bug Him? One of the times we bug Him most is when we grumble and complain.
Have you read the book of Exodus? I mean God, the Bible tells us, was provoked, bugged, provoked with the children of Israel because of their grumbling and complaining in the midst of their many blessings. God had led them out of bondage in Egypt. He had led them across the Red Sea as if upon dry land. He provided manna from heaven. There was a pillar of fire and a glory cloud to lead them by day and night and yet they grumbled and they complained and God swore on His wrath that they would never enter His rest and that generation wandered for 40 years because God was provoked. You see, God really doesn’t want us to be grumblers or complainers. He wants us to expect the good and look for the good.
Some of you like to golf and I like to golf too. I sometimes wish I could play a little more. I also sometimes wish I was a little better at golf. I’m not a very good golfer. I remember when I first took some golfing lessons, the instructor saw me swing a couple of times and he said there were some areas where I needed some help. I said, “Am I standing too close to the ball when I swing?” He smiled and said “Well, no. You’re actually standing too close to the ball after you swing!”
Now when you golf, if you’ve golfed before, you know how it is. I mean, it can be very frustrating. How amazing it is that some people take an afternoon off, they go out onto a golf course where there’s trees and grass. They’re with their best friends and they’re stressed out. But, you see, it all depends on perspective. It all depends on perspective. I know this for myself, that if I’m focusing on the shank I just hit, that’s the wrong focus. Instead of focusing on my last shot, I need to focus on my next shot. If I’m focusing on the double bogey I just made, sometimes the whole day is not going well, and you just need to focus on the beautiful surroundings. You just need to focus on the friends you’re with, the dinner you’re going to eat later that night. But, you see, it’s all perspective. That’s true in golf. It’s true in life. It’s all perspective and Christ Jesus has called us to a peculiar particular perspective and it is the perspective of faith where we expect the good and we look for the good in every circumstance of life.
Then finally, if we would cope with life in this world, we also need the sanity of godly priorities. We need the encouragement of Christian friends, we need the perspective of Christian faith, and we need the sanity of godly priorities.
You know, we live in a crazy world with a lot of crazy priorities. About four years ago in Pomona, California, a young woman came out of the grocery store. She had purchased some groceries. She had them in a shopping cart. She was pushing the shopping cart towards her apartment, which was just a couple of blocks away. She was approaching Mission Boulevard. She was crossing the Southern Pacific Railroad tracks. The shopping cart got stuck in the tracks. She tried to free the shopping cart and this young woman couldn’t do it. So she decided just to try to gather the groceries from the cart and put them in her aims but a train was coming. The train was blowing its whistle but she was hurrying to try to put more groceries in her arms until the moment the train ran over her. Later the engineer, with tears in his eyes, said she never looked up. She just kept trying to gather her groceries into her arms until the moment of impact. That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense does it? I mean, that’s just kind of insane to put groceries over life. Just kind of insane.
You see, God wants us to understand we live in an insane world with priorities that make no sense at all. Death is rushing toward each one of us and yet some people are just doing crazy things that make no sense at all.
You’ve heard of Leo Tolstoy, the Russian novelist. He was, I think by most accounts, one of the greatest novelists in world history. He is, of course, most famous for his epic novel called WAR AND PEACE. Tolstoy was a professing Christian. He renounced all organized religion but he claimed faith in Jesus Christ. He once wrote a story which, in his mind, illustrated the world of his day, which was the world of the late 19th century.
Tolstoy described a man who heard of a kingdom far away where for a little amount of money you could acquire as much land as you could walk around in a single day. So this man went to that distant kingdom and he paid the small amount of money. The next day he was going to walk around as much land as he could and it was all going to be his. He was so excited the night before that he couldn’t sleep. He was there at the break of dawn. The rules were explained to him that he could not use a horse. He had to travel on foot. He had to return back to the same spot where he started from and he had to get back to the starting spot by sundown. So at the break of day, he took off. He was excited and he was moving fast. He couldn’t believe how fertile the land was. There were valleys and trees and rivers and lakes. He was so excited. The day marched on and of course he did not stop to eat. He did not stop to drink. He did not stop to rest. After all, so much was at stake. Through the afternoon, he continued on trying to acquire more land, moving fast, and greed was in his heart. Late in the day, suddenly as he saw the sun descending in the sky, he realized that the day was drawing short and he had to get back to the starting place. In a panic, this man began to race back to the starting point. He began to run. Fear gripped him. He ran on and on and then finally, just before the sun went down, as Leo Tolstoy told the story, just before the sun went down this man arrived back at the starting place, fell down on the ground, and died.
For Leo Tolstoy, that was a parable of life in his age, that people were just given over to greed and to the pursuit of stuff until the moment of their death and it was ludicrous, it made no sense. You see, it wasn’t just a parable. I mean, it isn’t just a parable of Tolstoy’s day. Perhaps it’s even a more apt parable of our day.
The Bible tells us that people in this world live for the priorities of materialism, hedonism and egoism, what the Bible calls the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. The Bible says it’s insane. I mean, just like a Monopoly game. When it’s all over, it all goes back in the box and what do you have? Jesus said “What does it profit a person if they gain the whole world and forfeit their soul?” It doesn’t make any sense.
You see, God wants us to have His priorities. We can all get a little confused and start focusing on the wrong things. This happens to you. It happens to me. A few weeks ago, I was going through the book of Acts. I was in the sixth chapter. I saw how the apostles called the people together and said “You know, we need to appoint deacons that they might do some of the things we’ve been doing so that we might devote ourselves to the Word and to prayer. This needs to be our priority, that we devote ourselves to the Word and to prayer.” As I read that, I was really convicted that I’ve been involved in so many things that all seem so necessary but not finding enough time for the Word and for prayer. You know, the world tries to squeeze us into its mold. Is that not true? What’s true of me is surely true of you.
Remember that passage in Luke, chapter 10, where Jesus goes into the home of Mary and Martha and Martha is so busy with so many things but Mary just comes and sits at Jesus’ feet and starts talking to him. Martha comes in and complains. You remember; she says “Lord, tell Mary to get up and help me and to do some of this stuff with me.” Jesus said “Martha, Martha, you are busy with so many things but one thing is necessary. One thing is necessary; Mary has chosen the better part.”
Isn’t it crazy that even as Christians claiming to believe in Jesus Christ and to live life according to His word, sometimes we don’t find time to schedule in the one necessary thing, to sit at His feet, to commune with Him. We just don’t find time for the one necessary thing. God would remind us today, in the midst of a crazy world, that we need to take time out for the one necessary thing. That every day you go to a place by yourself and you would open this book and sit at Jesus’ feet and you would talk to Him and let Him talk to you through prayer and the Word.
You know, stress is like a container. I mean, it’s like within each and every one of us, there is a container, a stress container, within each and every one of us and it can only hold so much. There’s a drain valve at the bottom of it and a lid at the top. If stress is going into the container more rapidly than stress is leaving the container, pretty soon the container just overflows and it becomes like a poison in us. You’ve got to let that stress drain.
You see, Christ has told us what’s most important. As you take that time for a respite with Him in the Word and in prayer, the release valve just begins to unclog and open up. The lid is put on for a while so no new stress is put in. You begin to find healing. I mean, this is the plan God has for us, how we cope in a crazy world. So we cope as Christians through the encouragement of Christian friends, and through the perspective of the Christian faith, and through the sanity of Christian priorities. Let’s close with a word of prayer.