FATHER’S DAY
DR. JIM DIXON
JUNE 20, 1985
LUKE 15:11-32
It is called the Parable of the Prodigal Son, but the prodigal son is not really the subject of the parable. If you read this parable in light of its context and its content, you discover that the true subject of the parable is the father of the prodigal son. And this morning, as we examine the father, God wants each dad here to discover three qualities that we need in fatherhood.
Now, this first quality is mercy. As we look at the father of the prodigal son, he was a man who was merciful. The Greek word for mercy is the word “elios,” and this word is tied to the concept of forgiveness. To show mercy towards people is to forgive them, and the father of the prodigal son was a man who was willing to forgive.
Now, I know a man in southern California whose daughter married the youth minister at their church. This man is a committed Christian. But his daughter, who married the youth minister at the church, before their marriage had become pregnant through the youth minister. Their first child was born illegitimately. The father was deeply hurt and very angry, and refused to forgive his daughter. He did not come to the wedding. And since he discovered that his daughter’s child was out of wedlock, from that point on he has not talked to his daughter. The daughter and the youth minister now have two children and they’re happily married, but the dad has never seen his grandchildren. And what a tragedy that is, because the daughter and the grandkids long to be reunited with the dad. They long to find forgiveness. They long to experience mercy, that they might have union once again.
And you see, the Bible tells us that mercy and forgiveness is necessary in order to bring reconciliation. Reconciliation is a word that really combines two words, the word “re,” which means “again,” and “conciliar,” which means “to unite.” “To unite again.” See, that’s only possible when we show mercy. That’s only possible when there’s forgiveness that we might experience union. Forgiveness brings union. God wants every dad here to understand that our children desperately need to have union with us. They need to feel united with us. And only mercy, only forgiveness, makes that possible.
Now, you look at the father in the parable of the prodigal son, and his mercy—his forgiveness—is wonderful. Of course, he’s just longing to show mercy upon his son, longing to forgive his son, and he is looking for his son who has been gone for some time. He sees him from afar, and he is moved with compassion, Jesus tells us. Compassion is part of mercy. The Bible tells us that the father ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. And the son hadn’t even said a word; the son hadn’t even repented yet. In fact, the dad at that point didn’t know whether the son was coming to repent or whether the son was coming to ask for more money. But you see, the dad was so ready to forgive, so ready to show mercy. He embraced and kissed his son. And then when his son repented and he said, “I have sinned,” we see the complete forgiveness of the father as the father calls for the best robe that it might be put on his son. And that represented honor.
Then the father asked that the ring be brought and put on his hand. Most Bible scholars believe this was the signet ring—the family seal, the family ring—and it carried the authority of the family. It signified that the father was restoring the son to full status in the family. And then the Father instructed that shoes be put on his son’s feet. And of course, only slaves, only servants, went about unshod. Slaves wore no shoes in those days. But the father wanted his son to know that he had been restored to the family—given honor, given the very authority of the family. His forgiveness was complete. And there’s no way for us to know what that son would’ve felt. I mean, perhaps he thought he’d never be reconciled with his father. Perhaps he thought he would never be reunited with him.
And yet, through mercy and through forgiveness, they were reunited again. You know, when I was seven or eight years old, I remember my father won a handball tournament in Glendale, California. My dad loved the sport of handball. He was very good at it. When my dad was born, he was naturally left-handed. Those were the days when a lot of parents didn’t want their children to be left-handed, and so his parents forced him to be right-handed. That turned out to be a great blessing because he became very good with both his left and his right hand. And that made him a very good handball player. He won the handball tournament in Glendale, California, and he got this big statue. I’ll never forget (I can still remember) when he came home the smile on his face.
He was so proud of the statue, and it was really a beautiful statue and made of gold. My dad took it and he put it on a shelf in the hallway, and he had one instruction. And that was, “Don’t let Jim touch it.” Now, see, my dad knew that I had a tendency to kind of break things at that age. In fact, I remember my older brothers when they were teasing me would always say, “You plus something equals nothing.” That’s higher math, you know, you plus something equals nothing. It was kind of a little sibling encouragement there. My dad never would’ve said that to me because my dad knew that if he had said it to me that it really would’ve hurt me. And my dad knew that I tended to break things and he didn’t want me to touch the trophy.
Well, I remember that I was kind of fascinated by that trophy, and it really looked cool. I was just fascinated by the gold color of it. And I remember going into the hallway and looking at it, and I wanted to know how heavy it was. And I kept coming back, and finally I picked it up. And wouldn’t you know, I dropped it and I broke the arms. And it was just horrible. I can’t tell you how much I dreaded my father coming home.
When he came home and he found out what had happened… I mean, my father really believes in discipline, but he didn’t discipline me. He was just devastated. He went into his room. He didn’t say anything. And I think that was harder than anything, because I could see it had really hurt him. I remember in the hours that followed I really wanted my dad to talk to me with a normal voice. I just wanted him to come and just talk to me like things were alright. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted him to smile at me. I wanted him to come and just put his hand on my shoulder as sometimes he did. I needed to feel reconciled. I needed to feel united with my father again.
And you know, I thank God for the kind of dad I’ve been blessed with and have had all these years. I thank God that my dad knows mercy. He’s a merciful, forgiving man. And it wasn’t long before my dad did talk to me again. It wasn’t long before my dad did look at me and smile. It wasn’t long before my dad put his hand on my shoulder again, as often he did. God wants us to understand how important that is. Mercy. God wants us to understand how important it is that we as dads forgive in order that our children might experience union with us.
There’s a second quality that we see in the father in this parable, and that’s the quality of grace. See, the dad was not only merciful, but he was also gracious. Grace in the Bible, the word “charis,” is a word that kind of expresses the concept of generosity. And if you show grace to somebody you are giving them not only what they deserve. If you’re really showing grace to them, you’re giving them more than they deserve. You’re giving them beyond what they deserve. That’s grace. It’s generosity.
Now, in 1916 a woman named Hetty Green died. And Hetty Green had been called the Witch of Wall Street. She was also called the richest woman in the world. And perhaps she was. She had inherited about $5 million from the family’s whaling business, and she had invested her money in gold and in US bonds and in railroads and in real estate. She had multiplied that $5 million into $100 million. She was very, very rich, perhaps the richest woman in the world at that time.
But I think it is safe to say that Hetty was also kind of tight. I mean, she was really kind of stingy and she didn’t spend money even on herself. She wore worn out, kind of faded out clothes because she didn’t want anyone to know that she was rich and she didn’t want them to ask her for money. Of course, most people could see right through that. Everybody knew who Hetty was, and no one asked her for money anyway, because everyone knew that she wouldn’t give them a penny. She also rode around in a carriage that actually was made of an old chicken coop. She didn’t want to spend money on a decent carriage. She lived in broken down boarding houses. Every morning she’d go down to the street and she would buy a newspaper. She would bring the newspaper up to the room, read it, and then she’d rewrap the newspaper and put the string back around it, go back outside, and try to sell it so she didn’t lose the cost of a newspaper. When she’d go and buy anything at the store that was in a bottle, she’d bring a bottle with her and she would ask the owner of the store if she couldn’t get it at a lower price by putting it in her own bottles.
She has been called the greatest miser in the history of the world. And perhaps she was. Of course, our world has known many misers, and yet perhaps the most tragic misers in this world are those dads who refuse to provide for their children. We live in a nation where, on a percentage basis, there are more broken families than any other nation in the world. And there’s a lot of men who bring children into the world and then just don’t want to provide for them. Of course, my assumption is (and I trust it is true) that that wouldn’t be true of any dads here in this room. And I think most of you are not part of broken families, but you have a wife and children. And yet, even for you, for all of us, God wants us to learn grace. He wants us to learn generosity. He wants us to learn what it means to give to our children beyond what they deserve.
I think a lot of dads are kind of afraid of spoiling their children, and God doesn’t want us to spoil our children. But you see, generosity rarely spoils a child. If you rear your children with a strong work ethic, if we rear our children with responsibility, generosity normally will not spoil them. I mean, God wants us to understand what He is like. God is merciful. The Bible says, “Be merciful, as your Father in heaven is merciful.” He wants dads to be merciful. God is also gracious. I mean, the grace of God is incomprehensible. He gives us all so much beyond what we deserve. And if our Father in heaven is like that, He wants those of us who are dads in this world to be like that too.
You know, you look at the dad in the parable and he represents God Himself, because the father in the parable is a type of the Father in heaven. And you look at the dad in the parable and you see his incomprehensible generosity. I mean, his youngest son comes to him and demands, “Give me the share of property that falls to me.” Now, what the son did was not a violation of the Jewish law. Under Jewish law, a child could receive their portion prior to the death of the father. But it was rude. It was considered rude for the child to ask for that, and incredibly rude for a child to demand that. And yet we see how gracious the father is when he grants this child’s request. He simply grants it.
Then when the youngest son is in a foreign country, he’s starving. He’s eating the pods that swine eat. He comes to his senses and he thinks, “Even my father’s hired servants have bread enough, and more to spare.” Hired servants were the lowest category of slave. The hired servants were day laborers. And yet this son knew that his father was generous even to them. The son knew that he had a very generous father. When the older son complains, we see… I think the words of the Father to the elder son are so moving when the father says, “Son you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours.” All that is mine is yours. I mean, you see the generous quality of that dad. When the younger son comes in repentance, the father doesn’t just show mercy. He shows grace. And much of what the father did was more than what the son deserved.
But that’s grace. That’s grace. And you see, God wants each of us as dads to learn what it means to be generous with our kids. And I’ve got to say, as I look back on my life I’m thankful for the fact that I’ve had a very generous dad. My brothers would bear the same testimony. We have an incredibly generous dad. He not only gave us, you know, room and board, which I think dads and moms generally do, but he gave us so much more than we deserved. And I thank God for the camps that Dad sent me to, the money that camping can cost. I thank my dad for the fact that he bought me my first car. It only cost him 50 bucks. It was a 1949 Ford.
But you know, my dad didn’t have much money. And there was a period of time in my dad’s life where he was working two jobs in order to try to provide for the family. When I married Barb, I borrowed the money for the wedding ring from my dad because I didn’t have the money. My dad was more than willing to help. My dad paid my way through college. You know, now that Barb and I have two children that are approaching that age, we realize what an incredible sacrifice that is that my dad paid my way through college and then helped pay in my graduate studies as well. And when Barb and I moved out here to Colorado and we bought our first home out in Aurora—it cost $20,000 for a little home in Meadowood—it was my dad and mom that gave us the down payment for that house.
Maybe you haven’t had a dad that’s been able to do all that for you. Maybe your dad wasn’t able, but, you know, whatever grace your father has shown you, whatever generosity, thank him. I mean, God wants us to be grateful as children. And as dads, God wants us to be generous, to realize what it means to give sacrificially. As my father was generous to me (and I know I want to be generous to my kids), I want to give more than my children deserve. I want to give to them what my father has had done for me and what God our Father does for all of us. So we see this quality of grace: giving beyond what is deserved.
There is mercy, grace, and a third quality we see in the father of the prodigal son: joy. This is the last quality I wanted to take a brief look at this morning: joy. I mean, have you ever noticed when you’ve read the Parable of the Prodigal Son that the father is a man of joy? How much joy he had when that son came back, and that joy was expressed in a great party with music and dancing and plenty of food. You know, when the elder brother kind of complains about it and is kind of bitter, the father more or less says, “Lighten up.” You know, it’s good to be me. It’s good to be glad.
Joy. You know, the word for joy in the Bible is the word “chara.” I think many of you’ve probably heard many sermons from many pastors through the years on the subject of joy. I think you know that the word joy is a very difficult word to define. It’s oftentimes been said that Christian joy is different than happiness, because happiness has to do with happenings and Christian joy transcends happenings. I think that is true. Joy is different than happiness. And yet, if you were to do a word study of the word “chara,” as I have done, and you were to look at what that word means and how it was used in the Greek world (and even in the biblical context) you’d find that the word joy, the word “chara,” oftentimes is associated with happiness. It is oftentimes associated with laughter.
It is a word that is associated with celebration. It is a word that in the Greek world was oftentimes used to describe what today we would call fun. Fun. Now, this is June the 20th. And on this day, June 20th, in the year 1837, a royal carriage pulled up in front of Kensington Palace in England. And the Archbishop of Canterbury got out of that royal carriage and he came up to the palace door. It was 5:00 AM on June 20th. He knocked on the palace door, and it took quite a while at that early hour for a servant to come to the door. The Archbishop of Canterbury said he needed to speak to the princess, and the servant informed him that the princess was asleep. The archbishop said it was an emergency and he had to see the princess now. And so he was led into the bedroom chamber of Princess Victoria on June 20th, 1837.
And it was on that day that the archbishop announced to Victoria that King William IV was dead and that she was now queen, queen of all England. She was 18 years old. And she responded with six words. She said, “I will try to be good.” I will try to be good. 63 years later, when Victoria died in the year 1901, the people of England agreed that she had been good. She had been very good. And it’s hard to assess the life of Victoria. Some people, some historians, seem to think that Victoria lacked humor. And she’s often quoted as having said, “I am not amused.” And she did say that from time to time. But if you really study the life of Queen Victoria, you discover that she loved to laugh. I mean, she loved to laugh. She loved humor and she loved to have fun. For her, what she loved most was her husband, Albert.
She married Prince Albert three years after she ascended the throne. She married him in in February of 1840. He was a philanthropist. He was a businessman. He was a scholar, but most of all he was fun. I mean, he just had a great sense of humor. Together, Victoria and Albert had nine children, four boys and five girls. And when Albert died, Victoria was never the same. She had loved him so much. And when people came to her and said, “What do you most miss about him? What did you most like about him?” Victoria said, “He made my life fun.” He made my life fun. The testimony of the nine children was very similar. They all said, “Dad made life fun.”
I mean, wouldn’t you love your family to say that about you? Wouldn’t you someday like your wife to be able to say, “He made my life fun”? Wouldn’t you like your children someday to be able to say, “Dad really made life fun”? Now, I have to say, if you have the joy of Christ; if you celebrate His grace; if you really, as a dad, know you’re going to heaven; if you are celebrating every day the grace of Christ, and you are so filled with the Holy Spirit, you have His joy; I have to say, you’re going to make life just a little bit more fun for the people around you. I mean, there’s just no doubt about it.
I would someday just love for Drew and Heather to be able to say, “Dad really made life more fun.” I’d love for Barb to be able to say that. And I know that if we have the joy of the Lord, that’s when that happens. So, as we on this Father’s Day conclude our message, we see in the father of the prodigal of son these three great qualities. Mercy. Without mercy, you can’t be reunited. You can’t have union with your children without forgiveness. Grace. Grace is generosity. It is giving to our children more than they deserve, even as God, our Father in heaven, has given so much to us. And joy, joy that overflows. You know, some people think of God as somber. A lot of people think of God like that, but the Bible says, “In God’s presence is fullness of joy.” The Bible tells us that our Lord Jesus Christ has been anointed with the oil of gladness beyond all others, and the Greek word is “agalliasis,” which means “exuberance of joy that overflows into celebration and laughter.” That’s the kind of joy that Christ has. And that’s the joy that God wants Christian dads to have. And it’s a contagious joy. Let’s close with a word of prayer.
Lord Jesus, we come to You this morning. We just thank You for this time that we’ve been able to share. And Lord, we thank You for Your Word. We thank You, Lord Jesus, for the many parables that You taught and how they minister to us still. Lord, We thank You for Your mercy. We cannot comprehend, Lord, the forgiveness that You have given to each of us as You died for us on that cross. Lord, help every dad here (and every mom too, help us all) to manifest Your mercy in our home. Lord, help us to be able to forgive our children, that we might experience union with them. Thank You for the union, Lord Jesus, that You have given us with the Father by Your mercy. Lord, help us to be people of grace—that we might be generous, that we might give more than our children deserve.
Lord, we pray that our children might grow up to be generous, too. And Lord, help us to have Your joy. And we ask that You might fill us, Lord Jesus, with Your Holy Spirit, that Your joy might just overflow in each of our lives, that we might just be a little more fun to be around, Lord, and You might bless our homes. Thank You, Lord Jesus. We give ourselves anew to You. We ask You to bless every family here, every father here, and every grandfather too. Lord Jesus, we pray all of this in Your great and matchless name. Amen.