RULES FOR THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER
DR. JIM DIXON
EXODUS 20:1-12
JUNE 2, 2002
The Ark of the Covenant was the most sacred object in Old Testament Israel. As described in the 25th chapter of the book of Exodus, the Ark of the Covenant was a rectangular box made of acacia wood, approximately 4 feet long, 2-1/2 feet wide. It was overlaid with gold, both inside and outside. On the four corners, it had four golden rings through which poles could be placed so that the Ark of the Covenant could be carried. The lid of the Ark of the Covenant was called the Mercy Seat, and it was made of solid gold. Upon the Mercy Seat were two solid gold winged cherubim.
The Ark of the Covenant was kept in the Holy of Holies, in the Tabernacle, and later in the Temple. Of course, into the Holy of Holies no one could go except for the High Priest, and he but once a year on the Day of Atonement. It was believed that the presence of God attended the Ark of the Covenant, that the Shekinah, the glory of God’s presence, hovered over the Mercy Seat of the Ark of the Covenant. Within the Ark of the Covenant were the Tables of the Covenant. Indeed, in Exodus, chapter 5, it is clearly stated that the Ark of the Covenant was designed by God to contain the Tables of the Covenant. The Tables of the Covenant were the two stone tablets upon which the Decalogue, the Ten Commandments, were inscribed.
On that first stone tablet given to Moses by God on Mt. Sinai were, most scholars believe, the first four commandments. On the second stone tablet, the last six commandments. The first four commandments regulate our relationship with God, and the last six commandments regulate our relationships With people.
We have examined the first four commandments which call us into relationship with God. The first commandment reminds us that our relationship with God is to be an exclusive relationship. “You shall have no other gods.” The second commandment reminds us that our relationship with God is a relationship of trust. We cannot control Him. We cannot manipulate Him. We cannot use idols or icons or images seeking to control His power and presence. The third commandment tells us that this relationship with God is a relationship with honor. We are to honor Him in all that we say and do. We are to honor His name, and we are not to wear His name in vain. Then that fourth commandment reminds us that this relationship with God is a relationship that requires time, and we are to set aside time each week as a Sabbath in order that we might cultivate our relationship with Him.
Now we come to the second stone tablet, the six regulations concerning our relationships with people. God begins with our family relationships and thus we have the fifth commandment, “Honor your mother and your father that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God has given you.”
This morning what I would like us to do is briefly to take a look at this word “honor.” What does it mean to honor your mother and father? First of all, the word honor means, “to venerate.” It means “to glorify, to exalt, to regard highly.”
In the year 625 AD, Honorius I became the Vicar of Christ. He ascended to the highest office in the Roman Catholic Church. Honorius I became the Pope. He took that title Honorius I because his desire was to honor God. He wanted to honor God. Honorius I had been born into a wealthy family, but he had converted all of the family mansions into monasteries. He had reached out and used his wealth to build churches, to build new churches and remodel old churches. As Pope, he negotiated peace with the Lombards because he wanted to be a peacemaker and thus honor God. He used the power of the Papacy to reach out in compassion to the poor and to take the gospel to the nations. He died in 653, but a strange thing happened in 681 at the Third Council of Constantinople. Honorius I was condemned as a heretic. He was condemned as a heretic, and he is remembered today by Catholics and Protestants as a heretic. Indeed, he was condemned by Pope Leo II as a heretic.
Why was that? It’s because Pope Honorius I denied the deity of Jesus. That’s what he is alleged to have done. There’s much debate regarding his theology, but it is said that he denied the deity of Jesus Christ. The Third Council of Constantinople said, “If you don’t honor the Son, you can’t honor the Father. Even if your name is Honorius I.” Of course, we’re gathered here, as Christians, and we know that we must honor God in His fullness, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jesus said, “The Father judges no one but has given all judgement to the Son that all might honor the Son in the same way that they honor the Father.” “Do not marvel at this,” Jesus said. “The day is coming when all who are in the grave will hear My voice and come forth, some to everlasting life and some to everlasting death.” An incredible statement.
We seek to honor God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We know if we don’t honor the Son, we don’t honor the Father. If we don’t honor the Father, we don’t honor the Son. If we don’t honor the Father and Son, we grieve the Holy Spirit. But, you see, this fifth commandment tells us something else. Even though we honor the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we fail if we don’t honor our parents. We don’t really honor God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit unless we honor our parents. This word for honor is a God word. It’s the word “kabod.” That’s the Hebrew word here, “kabod.” It’s a “God” word. It means “glory.” This word is used again and again in reference to God. It means, “to glorify,” “to venerate,” “to exalt.” Indeed, the Shekinah, the glory of the divine presence that hovered over the Mercy Seat of the Ark of the Covenant in the Holy of Holies, was called the “Kabod,” “the glory.”
When the Philistines captured the Ark of the Covenant and took it out of Israel, the people shouted Icabod, anglicized as Ichabod. “The glory has departed.” The divine presence has left us. This word kabod is a God word. It’s an awesome word. How incredible it is that this word is used in this fifth commandment. Glorify your mother and father, kabod. Exalt them. Venerate them. It’s not because they are divine. It’s only because the Divine One, God, has vested authority in them. He has vested His authority in them. Therefore, venerate them. Exalt them. Honor them. This is the commandment of God.
We are to honor our parents even when they are old; perhaps particularly when they are old. When they are failing physically, when they are failing mentally, we are to venerate them. You see, the Jews as a people understood this to be the meaning of this commandment; that as a society they were to exalt the elderly. They knew, as we know, that there’s a promise connected to this commandment. “Honor your mother and father that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God has given you.” That’s how it’s stated in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy, chapter 5. “Honor your mother and father that your days may be long and it may go well for you in this land which the Lord your God has given you.” There’s a promise of longevity and blessing.
But, you see, the Jewish people understood this fifth commandment and the promise that accompanies it as corporate rather than individual. The Jewish people, as a society—they would dwell long in the land which the Lord their God had given them if they venerated the elderly, if they honored their parents. They did not dwell long in the land which the Lord God gave them. They did not dwell long there. They were conquered by the Assyrians and exiled. They were conquered by the Babylonians and exiled. Even when under the decree of Cyrus the Great, they were allowed to return to the land, which the Lord their God had given them. They were not fully blessed. They were under the authority of the Medo-Persians and then under the authority of the Greeks and finally under the authority of the Romans.
They were under the authority of the Romans when Jesus came to them. Jesus rebuked them for the way they were treating their elderly. Matthew, chapter 14. Mark, chapter 7. We see Jesus rebuking the Jewish leaders for the way they had treated their elderly and the way they had treated their parents. They had not provided for their parents in their old age. They had not provided for them physically or emotionally. They had not been willing to spend their money to provide for their parents need and comfort. In fact, Jesus tells us, they had actually claimed that they couldn’t help their parents because their money was “korban.” The word korban is a Hebrew word transliterated into the Greek and into the English, but it means an offering to God. The Jewish people were not helping their parents, not helping them in their elderly years, because they said their money was korban. It was reserved for God. What a strange thing.
Jesus condemned them. He condemned them outright. He told them, “If you would honor God, you’d better honor your parents. You can’t reserve your money for God at the cost of not helping your elderly parents.” Strong passages in Matthew 14 and Mark 7. Judgement of God fell upon their society and you wonder, “How does God feel about this nation?” “How do we treat our parents?” “How do we treat our elderly?” “Is the judgement of God far away?” How are you doing? How are you honoring your mom and dad? Do you venerate them? Do you exalt them? Do you hold them in high regard and does it show in the things you say to them and the things you do for them? Honor your mother and father. It means to venerate.
The second meaning of the word honor is to obey. It means, “to submit to the authority of.” We see this in Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 and 2. The Apostle Paul writes, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.” Then he quotes the fifth commandment, “Honor your mother and father,” so that, for children, to honor means to obey. The Greek word for children in this passage is descriptive of the young who still live in their parents’ house. So, if you are young and you are still living in your parents’ house, for you, honors means “to obey,” “to submit to the authority of the ones you venerate,” to submit to their authority.
I don’t think it’s easy being a child. I like the cute little story about the little boy that was riding his tricycle around the block. He was going around the block again and again and again. There was a police officer there. He noticed that this little boy just kept riding his tricycle around the block. The cop gets out of his car and goes up to the little boy and says, “What are you doing?” The little boy said, “I’m running away from home.” The cop said, “Well, why do you just keep going around the block over and over again?” The little boy said, “My mother told me I can’t cross the street.”
It’s hard being a child. You kind of want to obey your parents but you also want to run away sometimes. It’s not easy being a child. It’s not easy obeying. We need to understand this commandment and the context of Judeo-Christian values which are summed up in love. We need to understand this command given to children to obey their parents and to honor them thereby as a commandment rooted in love where parents are disciplining and nurturing and instructing their children in love and children are able to obey out of love.
It’s hard for us to imagine what the world was like when Christ was born in Bethlehem. It’s hard to imagine what the Roman world was like and what Roman society was like because the Roman society was a patriarchal society. In the Roman world, there was a Roman law called Patria Potestas. It means “father power.” It’s hard for us living in this culture and in this nation, hard for any in the western world to imagine the power vested in the father in the Roman Empire. Fathers had virtually all power. Children were property. Wives, property. The father had the power and he was the owner. It’s hard for us to imagine it ever could have been like that.
If a male son was born, the father had the right to accept that baby or to reject the baby. If the father rejected the baby, the baby was either executed and killed right on the spot or was taken to the Roman Forum for adoption. Few of those babies were adopted. Most of them were simply taken that they might ultimately be sold into slavery; reared and sold into slavery.
If a baby girl was born, the father again, under the doctrine of Patria Potestas, had the authority to accept or reject the baby. If the father rejected the little girl, as he was more likely to do in that patriarchal society, the little girl was killed or again taken to the Roman Forum. There, the little girl was normally reared for prostitution, that she might stock the Roman brothels. It’s hard to imagine a society like that.
If the father accepted his children, as most often he did, there was no guarantee that the father would rear the children in love. There were no laws preventing child abuse. Children had no civil rights. If a father wanted to put his kids in chains, he could do it, and at times did do it. He could incarcerate his kids. He could execute them because under Patria Potestas, the father not only had the power of corporal punishment but capital punishment. Children tended to obey. You can imagine, children tended to obey, and they obeyed out of sheer fear many times.
I’m not saying there were no loving Roman fathers. Surely there were, but because of Patria Potestas, children tended to obey out of fear. Wives tended to obey their husbands out of fear because of Patria Potestas. Into that Roman world came the Gospel of Christ. Into that Roman world came Christianity with Judeo-Christian values, and they were radical. Ultimately, they changed the Roman world. The Gospel of Christ came with status for women and status for children. The message that all people regardless of gender are equal and created in the image of God. This was a radical message.
I have here a book written by Dr. Rodney Stark, Professor of Sociology and Comparative Religion at the University of Washington. It’s called “The Rise of Christianity.” Stark argues in this book that Christianity grew from a small seed to a vast, vast faith that encompassed the empire. It grew primarily, he said, because of women and children, because women flocked into the Christian faith where they could find status and esteem, where they could be valued. He says the evidence is overwhelming. Women came in droves into the Christian faith that they might have rights and that their children might be valued. Women led their husbands to Christ. Women reared their children in Christ. The Empire grew and Christianity grew as a women’s movement. That’s what Stark argues.
There’s no denying this. In Christ, women and children are viewed differently, wonderfully. Judeo-Christian values center on love. Jesus said the first four commandments are summed up in Deuteronomy 6:5, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength.” Jesus said the last six commandments are summed up in Leviticus 19: 18. “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus said, “Upon these two commandments, all the law and the prophets reside.” Jesus said even obedience is to be rooted in love. “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”
John, the Beloved disciple wrote, “There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out all fear for fear has to do with punishment and he who fears is not perfected in love.” I want you to understand I’m going somewhere with this: as parents, we can punish our kids or we can discipline them. I know we sometimes use those words in a synonymous way. This is also true in the Bible, but many times in the Bible there is a distinction between punishment and discipline. Punishment being the Greek word, “kolasio” and discipline the Greek word “paideuo.” There’s a difference because punishment is an effort to enforce justice and to exact vengeance, to get even, whereas discipline is a loving effort to transform, to shape, to mold, to grow. You can discipline your kids through a variety of modes, and it’s really punishment or discipline, kolasio or paideuo, depending on your motive and attitude and purpose. If your actions are done in anger with a desire to get even, it’s kolasio. It’s punishment. Your kids might obey you but eventually you’re likely to breed rebellion, but if your acts are in love and it’s a desire to shape your children into all that they’re meant to be, it’s discipline, paideuo, and it’s likely your children will obey you in love. We need to understand this fifth commandment in that context. It’s all about love.
Well, our time is really up and I’m not done, but I do want to say that if you honor your parents, you’re also grateful. If you honor them, you give thanks to them. I think, as children, your gratitude is not full but as you grow, you hopefully appreciate more and more the sacrifices your mom and dad made for you and you’re going to express honor in the form of thanksgiving and gratitude. I also think if you honor your parents, you’re going to seek to forgive them, which I think is hard for many of you. Perhaps you’ve had parents who wounded you, but you cannot venerate your parents unless you first forgive them.
I was thinking of the story of the Prodigal Son, and we’ll close with this. You find it in Luke’s Gospel, the 15th chapter. You read there how the prodigal son really rebelled against his father, demanded his share of the inheritance and then left home and went to a foreign country where he lived a profligate life, a life of debauchery. He wasted all of his money and eventually found himself eating pig food in a pigsty. There he came to a humble repentance. He resolved he would return to his father.
He was still at a distance, approaching his father’s home, when his father saw him. Apparently, as Jesus tells us the story, the father was waiting and looking for his son to return all this time. When the father saw the son approaching, Jesus tells us the father ran to him and embraced him and kissed him. The father commanded that the family ring be brought and put upon him. That’s all about honor. “Put the family ring, the signet ring, upon my son. He is restored. He is honored.” He commanded that shoes be put on his feet and that was all about honor because slaves went about with their feet unshod. It was all about honor. “Bring the finest robe.” It was all about honor, even the fatted calf and the great feast. It was all about honor. The father wanted to honor his son.
But, you see, it would not have been possible, he could not have honored his son had not he been willing to forgive him. Is that not true? Had he not been willing to forgive him? Turn it around as children do their parents. We can’t honor them. We can’t make a feast for them if we don’t first forgive them.
I know that forgiveness, for many, is a process. It may take counseling, but it should be our goal. It may never be complete in this life, but it should be our goal because we are commanded to honor our parents. To honor means to venerate. For children, it means to obey. For all of us, it means to express gratitude and to forgive. Let’s close with a word of prayer.