THREE R’S FOR MOTHERHOOD
MOTHER’S DAY
DR. JIM DIXON
MAY 9, 1993
PROVERBS 31:10-31
In our world, it happens three times every second. Three times every second, a woman becomes a mother. In the United States of America, 10,501 women will become mothers today, if this is an average day. You see, biologically it is not difficult to become a mother. But giving birth to a child does not make a woman a mom, because true motherhood is one of the greatest callings, one of the greatest challenges in the world. This morning, I would like us to examine the nature of motherhood biblically, and I would like us to examine what we might call the three R’s of motherhood.
The first R stands for risk. It occurs to me that it is a risky thing to choose to be a mom. It’s a risky thing to be a mother. In the Bible we’re told about Sisera. Sisera was the Canaanite chieftain who commanded the forces of Canaan. He commanded the armies of Canaan 3,200 years ago. The armies of Canaan were vast, and they were powerful, and they had all the latest equipment for war. The Canaanite armies had 900 chariots of iron, the Bible tells us. And so the day came, 3,200 years ago, when the Canaanite armies under the leadership of Sisera met the united armies of Israel in battle on the plain of Esdraelon. The armies of Israel were not nearly so vast, and they had no chariots of iron. It didn’t look good for Israel that day until the rain fell. Torrential rains fell, and the plain of Esdraelon became a kind of quagmire and the 900 Canaanite chariots of iron began to just sink in the mud, and they became useless. And the Israelite armies and the infantry and the the horsemen of Deborah and Barack came with swords drawn and they overwhelmed the Canaanite forces. And ultimately, Sisera died.
Now, the Bible tells us in the fifth chapter of Judges in a very moving passage how the mother of Sisera waited for the return of her warrior son. She waited, looking out the window, waiting for her son to return, and it never happened. And as the time passed, she began to grieve as she realized that she had lost her son. The Bible tells us that her maidens in waiting tried to comfort her, but there was no comfort for the pain that she felt. She had lost her son. I think we would say that the death of a child is one of the risks of motherhood.
I think many of you know the story of Frank and Jane. Frank and Jane were traveling by train from Boston to Concord on January 6th, 1853. They were traveling with their 11-year-old boy whose name was Benjamin. Jane called him Benny. Their home was in Concord. Jane didn’t really like it there, but she was happy because they were going to move to a different state and to a brand-new house. Well, tragedy happened on that train ride. The axle came off of one of the railroad cars, and the coaches, hopelessly linked, just came off the track and tumbled over an embankment and many lives were lost. In the midst of the wreckage, Frank and Jane found themselves alive with just bruises and scratches. And immediately this mother and father began to look for their son. And it was Frank who found Benjamin, his lifeless body in the midst of the wreckage, the back of his head horribly cut off.
It was Frank who took his coat and put it on his son. He wanted to cover him up. He didn’t want Jane to even see her son in that situation. And yet, it was too late, because Jane had come up behind him and she saw her dead son and she was never the same. She had lost her first born in childbirth. She had lost her second child at the age of four to disease, and now she had lost her third and final child through this horrible accident.
Well, Frank and Jane moved to that different state. They moved to their new home. The state was Washington, D.C., and their new house was the White House because Frank was Franklin Pierce, president of the United States, and Jane was the first lady of the land. And the people of America called her “the shadow in the White House.” They called her the shadow in the White House because she could never get over the pain, never get over the loss, never get over the hurt, and she rarely came out of the White House. That is the risk of motherhood.
Now, hopefully those of you who are moms in this room this morning will not live to see your children die. Though candidly, I must say, I know that there are many moms in this room who have already seen children die, their children. And the pain is great. I think there’s many risks in motherhood. There’s the risk that maybe our children will not return our love. There’s the risk that maybe our children won’t really turn out, that they won’t grow up to be responsible adults. There’s the risk that our children, when they grow up, won’t really be happy. There’s the risk that our children won’t ultimately embrace our values and our morals and our ethics. There’s the risk that our children will not choose to believe in God. There’s the risk that our children will not embrace the Christian faith, the risk that they will not accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
Those are some of the risks of motherhood. And, you know, God understands these risks. God understood the risk when He created people. God understood the risk when He created men and women. God foreknew what would happen. And I’m sure from the dawn of time He felt the pain. Our heavenly Father knows what it’s like to have children that do not turn out. And yet, you see, the Bible is very clear. God created. He still brought life into the world. Knowing the risk, He brought life into this world.
Now, sometimes I’ll talk to men and women or just maybe recently married husbands and wives who tell me they don’t want to have children. And certainly, sometimes that’s the unique call of God for some couples. But sometimes husbands and wives will say to me, “We don’t want to have children because we think the risk is just too great. We think this is a crazy world. It’s a hard world, and there’s so many problems in this world. We just don’t want to bring a child into this world because of the risk.”
And I must say, I think God wants us to be people of faith. God is looking for moms with faith in the midst of the risk. God wants us to understand that He’s there to help us in our parenting. No matter how tragic the world, God is there to help us in our parenting. And God loves our children. He loves all these little children that were singing up here this morning. They’re precious to Him. We see from the birth of Moses to the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, we see the hand of God in the protection of children. We see how our Lord Jesus gathered children in His arms. He blessed them. He said, “To such belong the kingdom of heaven.” And the Lord wants us to know that in the midst of the risk, as we choose to become moms, we can have faith because He is there to bless and to bring good.
There’s a second R to motherhood, and the second R is responsibility. It takes a lot of responsibility to be a mom. Now, there are, I’m sure, a number of single moms in this sanctuary this morning. We have a lot of single moms in America. I want to say, first of all, I really thank God for single moms. I must also say I wish there were fewer of them because, you see, we have more single moms in America per capita than any nation in the world. We have more single moms here because of the high divorce rate. We have the highest in the world. We have more single moms here because of the incredible high rate of illegitimate birth. A lot of children are born out of wedlock in America.
Now, it’s hard being a single mom, and there’s a great debate about single parenthood today. Many leaders in the NOW organization claim that single parenthood and broken homes are really not any big deal. Children turn out just as well, regardless of whether they’re reared in a broken home or whether they’re reared in a traditional nuclear family with a mom and dad present. Some of the people from the so-called family diversity movement, the family diversity celebrants, tell us it really doesn’t matter whether children are reared in a home where there’s a mom and dad or whether there’s just a mom, or whether there’s just a dad, or whether there’s two lesbian moms or two gay dads. It doesn’t really matter, they say.
But you see, the preponderance of evidence from sociological studies demonstrates that there is a difference. Children growing up need a mom and a dad. They really do. And if you read the article in the Rocky Mountain News by Vincent Carroll just recently (and Vincent Carroll is the chief editor of the editorial page of the Rocky Mountain News), he wrote a full-page article about single motherhood and single parenthood. And he pointed out that children that come from broken homes are actually more prone to poverty. They’re more prone to depression. The preponderance of sociological studies now indicate that they are more prone to educational failure and to juvenile delinquency. In fact, in the reform homes and the reform schools of our nation, 70% of the children come from single-parent homes.
And yet, in the midst of realities like that and reading articles like that, you’ve got to feel for single parents. I mean, I was thinking as I was reading the article by Vincent Carroll, I agreed with the article, and I was glad he wrote it. It was a great article and it spoke truth. And yet I thought, “How would a single mom feel reading this article? How would a single mom feel?” She’d feel maybe hopeless. She’d feel, you know, like her children don’t have much of a chance. But you know, God wants you to know today that, if you’re a single mom and you love Jesus Christ, God wants you to know He can bless your home. He can bless your situation. And the issue this morning isn’t really whether you’re a single mom or a married mom. The issue is, are you responsible before Christ? Are you a responsible mom? Are you responsible?
You know, in Job chapter 39, we’re told the ostrich is not a very good mother. In fact, we’re told that in the sight of God the ostrich is a very poor mother. And why is this? It’s because oftentimes an ostrich just abandons her children, abandons her eggs. Sometimes she steps on them carelessly. Other times she just walks away and leaves them for predators. There’s no sense of responsibility.
Now, I think most mothers today do have a sense of responsibility. And I think the work of motherhood is incomprehensibly hard. You know, a few weeks ago Barb and I woke up in the middle of the night. It was about 2:45, a quarter to three in the morning. And we woke up because our bedroom was just flooded with light. We thought, you know, maybe the rapture. Our bedroom was just flooded with light.
We looked downstairs, and there were bright lights just flashing through the front of our house. We looked outside and there were fire engines and police cars all in front of our house. And sitting right on our front lawn were a whole bunch of people, standing and sitting, cops and police, all in a circle. And we thought, what is going on here? And I went outside and I talked to one of the police and he said, “Well, your milk man was delivering the milk to your house. And getting out of the truck he stumbled, and he broke his knee right on your sidewalk and rolled onto your lawn. And that’s why we’re here.” And of course, you know, he didn’t get the milk to the house and I didn’t have the heart to ask for the milk.
But I was thinking, “How strange.” I mean, I knew, of course, that the milkman comes early, but I didn’t realize that he was delivering the milk at 2:45 AM or 3:00 AM. And I thought, “How strange that is, that someone’s delivering milk at 3:00 AM.” Then I got to thinking about it. You know, mothers do it all the time. I mean, moms are delivering milk at 3:00 AM all the time. In the middle of the night, nursing moms get up at 2:00 AM and 3:00 AM and 4:00 AM. It is part of the responsibility. Motherhood, the work of motherhood, is just hard. All the counseling through the years, many times with tears; all the listening; all the teaching, and the discipleship; the discipline; all the labor around the house, and the work that is done; it is unbelievable.
I think we see the commitment of many moms in a passage of scripture. It’s an unusual passage. Maybe you’re not familiar with it, but it’s from the book of 2 Samuel, the 21st chapter. And there in the book of 2 Samuel, the 21st chapter, we read about two young men who are executed by the Gibeonites. Two young Jewish men are executed by the Gibeonites, and their bodies are left without burial to be devoured by birds and beasts. And this was all done with the permission of King David, who was trying to appease and pacify the Gibeonites. By the decree of the king, these two bodies could not be buried. But these two young men who were tragically left there had a mother, of course, and her name, the Bible tells us, was Rizpah. And Rizpah came to the place where her sons were, and she saw their dead bodies and she stayed there.
She knew she could not bury them or she would violate the law of the king, but she stayed there by her son’s bodies. And she stayed there protecting those bodies. She stayed there for days. She stayed there for weeks. The Bible says she stayed there for months protecting the bodies of her sons from birds by day and beasts by night. And when the word came to King David, he was deeply moved at this mother’s love and her commitment even to her dead children. And he made provision for their honorable burial.
I think, you know, as you go through the pages of scripture and as you just look at life, you see countless illustrations of the commitment of moms and the deep love of moms for their children. This morning, as we’re here together, I think God would, first of all, you know, want to express His… I know God wants moms who are working so hard, seeking to be faithful in their parenting, loving their kids. I think God wants them to know how deeply He values them and how deeply He values you. I also think God wants us all to know that we’re called to responsibility. And I think He would want us as moms and dads this morning to commit ourselves anew to our children. He wants us to commit that we might provide the kind of homes that our children need; that we would be committed to them from birth to death; that we would always pray for them; that we would truly love them; that we would be there to counsel them, to encourage them, to discipline them, to teach them, and to serve them. This is the second R of motherhood.
Well, there is a third and final R of motherhood I want us to take a brief look at this morning and that is the rewards of motherhood. There are great rewards for motherhood. You know, in Proverbs, chapter 31, we’re told how some mothers will see their children grow up and their children will call her blessed. And that’s a great reward if your children grow up and they call you blessed. I know my brothers and I, we rise up and we call my mother blessed today. And we would call her blessed every day, because we are so grateful for her love and her service in our life and her faithfulness to Christ and her service of us. And that’s a great reward if you see your children rise up and call you blessed. I think it’s a great reward when you see your children return your love. I mean, it’s just a precious thing for a mom when her son or daughter just gives her a hug, or when her son or daughter says, “I love you, mom.”
I think it’s a great reward for a mom when she first hears her little child say her name. That’s a great reward. It is, of course, a great reward for moms to see their children grow up and be happy. It’s a great reward for moms to see children grow up and become responsible adults. It’s a great reward for Christian moms to see children grow up and commit their lives to Christ in the service of Christ’s kingdom. It’s a great reward for Christian moms to see their children commit their lives to Jesus Christ. It’s possible, of course, though, that many of you moms who are here today are not experiencing most of these things. Maybe your children have not risen up and called you blessed. Maybe they’re not returning your love. Maybe they don’t seem to be particularly happy. Maybe they’re not even responsible adults.
Maybe they’ve rejected your faith and maybe they’ve rejected Christ. And what is your reward? What is your reward? I think God would remind us that all Christian moms can receive the reward of sanctification. And this is one of God’s great purposes in this world, that as we live life in this world the will of God is to sanctify us—to make us more and more like His Son, to give us the very character of Jesus Christ. This life in the sight of God is like a classroom. It’s a time of preparation when God would mold our character. And you see, for those of you who are Christian moms, no matter what the struggles, no matter what the test, no matter what the trials or the pains, God offers to sanctify you through the experience of motherhood. That is a great reward, that you might learn love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.
I believe that in heaven there’s a great reward for Christian moms. You know, the world’s all out of whack. We don’t value what we ought to value. I know many of you were alive when John Kennedy died. He died on November 22nd, 1963. He died in Dallas, Texas. He was on his way to a luncheon and was assassinated. November 25th, three days later, they had his funeral and dignitaries came from 90 nations of the earth to honor this man. And of course, he was buried in Arlington Cemetery. An eternal flame burns over his grave. And the day after his death, on November 23rd, all the newspapers of the world carried the death of John Kennedy in headlines.
Of course, that day, November 22nd, that day that John Kennedy died, many other people died. Thousands of other people died, and their deaths were not mentioned in newspapers at all. One other person who died that very same day was C.S. Lewis, one of the greatest Christians our world has ever known. He died that day. And there were no headlines in any newspaper carrying news of his death. It was mentioned, perhaps briefly, in some of the back pages of newspapers.
I don’t know whether John F. Kennedy was a Christian. God only knows. I don’t know whether he is in heaven. God knows. I know C.S. Lewis was a Christian, and I know his reward is great. The Bible tells us that many who are first in this world will be last in heaven. And many who are last in this world will be first in heaven.
I don’t think there’s any calling more valuable in the sight of God than the calling of motherhood. There’s nothing more honorable, nothing more noble, nothing more deserving of eternal reward. My mother’s 80 years old and she’s in good health. My brothers and I, we hope and pray that she has many years left in this world. And yet we know that when she dies, she’ll be with the Lord. She loves Christ. And when she dies, I know that it won’t be carried by any newspaper. But I believe when she arrives in heaven there’s going to be great celebration and great reward. And I think God wants us to know as Christians that as we labor faithfully in this world there’s always reward. And He wants us to commit ourselves anew to the task that is given to us. So, this morning, as we think of the three R’s of motherhood, we think of risk and the call to have faith in the midst of the risk. We think of responsibility and the call of God that we might rear our children well. We think of the rewards that are promised by God to all who are faithful. Let’s close in with a word of prayer.
Lord Jesus, we come to You this morning and we do want to give You great thanks, Lord, for our families. We thank You for the dads and moms who are present here today. We thank You for the children, too. We ask You, Lord, to bless all of our homes. We ask You, Lord, for strength. We ask You, Lord, to give us courage and patience and an extra dose of Your love. I want to thank You, Lord, for the moms that are here. I thank You for the hours, the seemingly endless hours that they spend serving their children. We pray, Lord, that You would bless them. We pray, Lord, that You would bless all of those who in the midst of the risk place their faith in You. We pray, Lord, that You would teach us all responsibility, that we commit ourselves anew to the task, that we would be good moms and dads. Thank You, Lord, for the rewards You bring. We pray that we would experience sanctification through the tests and trials of life, that You would mold us into the likeness of Your Son. And Lord, we look forward to the day we’ll see You face-to-face. We long to hear You say, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You’ve been faithful over a little. I’ll set you over much. Enter into the joy of your Master.” Lord, bless our homes, bless our moms. We pray these things, Lord Jesus, in Your great and matchless name. Amen.