Father’s Day (2013)

FATHER’S DAY
DR. JIM DIXON
JUNE 16, 2013
EPHESIANS 6:4

In the book of Isaiah in the ninth chapter, in the sixth verse, four titles are given to the Messiah. And in the words of Isaiah 9:6, “Unto us, a child is born. Unto us, a Son is given. The government shall be upon His shoulders. His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and the Prince of Peace.” Of those four titles, the most amazing is El Gibbor, Mighty God. What a title. The Mighty God. Of those four titles, probably the most perplexing, the most difficult to understand, is the title “Abi-Ad.” Abi-Ad means Everlasting Father. And why is that, that the Messiah would be called Everlasting Father? Why is it that God the Son would be called Everlasting Father?

There are two possibilities. One is that it really means father of everlasting—father of eternity, father of time itself, the source of time. That’s one possibility. The other possibility is that it actually means Everlasting Father and that title is given to Christ because He alone perfectly reveals the Father. The Bible says, “No man has ever seen the Father. The only Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, has made Him known. So Jesus reveals the Everlasting Father, and God is everlasting.

But here on earth, our fatherhood is temporal. Our fatherhood is fleeting. I’m a dad, but things have already changed for me. My kids no longer live in the house with me. They visit from time to time, but they no longer live in the house with me. They have families now of their own. So my role as a father has changed. And of course, the years pass and the death rate is a hundred percent. My fatherhood in this world will come to an end. So the time to honor dads is now. The time to honor dads is while they’re here. And of course, the time to be a good dad is now. We only have so many years as dad. Let’s make the most of them. Let’s be the best dads we can, the best fathers that we can be.

So we have this little verse, Ephesians chapter six, verse four, and, and it gives us instructions for dads. And it really tells us two things. First of all, it speaks of dads as providers. Dads are providers. And of course, in this verse, the Greek itself reveals this role of dads as providers. The Greek word is “ektrepho,” and is translated, “Dads, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up…” That word ektrepho, “bring them up,” literally means to feed their bodies, to provide for their physical needs.

This does not mean that moms cannot be providers. The Bible’s not saying that moms can’t be providers. And when you look at Proverbs, chapter 31, you see a beautiful description of moms in many roles, including the role of provider. But this is simply acknowledging Genesis chapter three. In Genesis chapter three, we’re basically told that that men and dads, by the sweat of the brow, earn bread. They earn bread for their families and for their loved ones. And I think most dads find a significant part of their self-worth and their self-esteem in this role of providing for their family.

Now, in the Roman world in the time of Christ there was the Roman doctrine of “patria potestas.” Patria means father, and potestas, in Latin, means power. “Father power.” This doctrine of patria potestas was foundational to Roman society. And by this doctrine, fathers had almost absolute power. This was a patriarchal society, the Roman world. Even the Greek Hellenized world was a patriarchal society. Fathers were owners and they owned their wives. Wives were property belonging to the father. Children were property belonging to the father. And by Roman law, fathers did not have to provide. Patria potestas. It was their power, their choice. They didn’t have to provide. They could sell their sons into slavery and pocket the money. Some Roman fathers did. They could sell their daughters into prostitution and pocket the money. Patria potestas.

Of course, you can look at Roman history and find many examples of dads who did not provide for their families, who abused their wives and their kids. But you can also look at Roman history and you can find many examples of good dads, even great dads, who loved their families and who provided for them. I believe God has placed this desire in the heart of most dads. I think it’s in the heart of most moms as well to provide—as part of the imago Dei, as part of the image of God in us—that we would not neglect our families, but that we would provide for them.

But I hope you understand that Christianity transformed the Roman world. It transformed the Hellenized world. It just changed everything. So the message of Christ came into this Roman empire, and it was a message for dads, and a message for moms, and a message for everyone.

Fathers were instructed through the gospel to love and honor their wives. And they were instructed to rear their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. And they were told that they do not own their kids, that God is the owner of all things and they were merely stewards and one day they were going to have to give an account to the living God for how they treat their kids. This message went forth in the empire, the message of Christ. It changed dads, and had a huge impact on women as well. I don’t know whether you’re aware of this, but the early church grew primarily by an influx of women. Almost 80% of the growth of the first century Church consisted of women coming into the churches out of a Roman world where they were property and into the church where they were valued.

So women came into the churches of Jesus Christ, where they found value and dignity, and the statement of the Apostle Paul that, “In Christ, there’s neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, but all are one in Christ Jesus,” was so radical. No Roman would ever have said that. No Greek would ever have said that. This comes through the Apostle from Christ the Lord. So Christianity transformed the world.

Throughout history, there have always been dads who were good and dads who were bad. And that’s true of recent history as well. In the year 1899, a boy was born here in the United States called Deforest. his family was wealthy, and his father was a medical doctor. He was renowned and very successful. His mother was a famous artist. And so Deforest was born into this wealthy family, and they had plans for this boy. They wanted him to grow up and be successful. They wanted him to go to Yale, just like his dad, and they wanted him to have an incredible career, huge success, and as much fame and renown as possible.

It turns out that Deforest became famous at age one. That’s not true of many kids. But he became famous at age one because in the year 1900, at the age of one, he became the Melon Baby for Melon Baby Food. You’ve heard of the Gerber Baby. That came 30 years later. The Gerber Baby didn’t arrive on the scene until 1930, but this was the year 1900. There was the Melon Baby and the Melon Food Company. They used this picture of Deforest at age one, and they used his picture all over the United States and around the world.

So he became perhaps the most famous baby on earth. And as he grew up, other kids made fun of him because they’d all seen his baby picture. Everybody had seen his baby picture, so they all made fun of him and called him a sissy. He didn’t like that. He fought back. In high school, although he was extremely smart and had the brilliance of his parents, he failed anyway because he was constantly getting into fights. He was suspended and then dropped out of high school. He joined the Navy and he was constantly getting into fights in the Navy. He went AWOL. He was put in solitary confinement.

I mean, his life was just becoming tragic. He came out of the military and had some odd jobs. He became the Inspector of Tugboats and became a worker for the National Biscuit Company. He had a bunch of little jobs. Nobody noticed, nobody cared. His parents’ dreams for him were not coming true. Then he decided to do something different. He decided to try acting. So he became an actor, and he had all these insignificant bit parts in movies nobody watched. Everything he did was forgettable for 10 years. And most of the movies he made were kind of bit parts in horror movies. He played a part of vampires and stuff like that. He was before his time. Obviously, vampires are huge today.

But in his last 20 years, Deforest became famous. He began to act in famous movies, movies like the African Queen, Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, and Petrified Forest. Of course, his name was Bogey—Humphrey Deforest Bogart, and he was one of the most famous actors in Hollywood history.

He wasn’t much of a dad, though. He was a womanizer, married four times and faithful to none of his wives. And having a son and a daughter, he almost never saw them. But he was not faithful to his own family and spent virtually no time with his kids. He gave everything to his career. He wanted to attain that fame that his parents had wanted for him. So he gave everything to his career, and he sacrificed his kids on the altar of his career.

That’s true of a lot of people in history. It’s true of a lot of people in this world. It’s true of a lot of dads in this country, and maybe even some dads in this room today are sacrificing our children on the altar of our career, not realizing that in terms of ministry your primary call is to your kids in your own house.

And so we have this admonition from holy scripture that as dads we are to bring up our kids, provide for their needs. And it’s not just physical. As providers, we need to provide a whole lot more than just money, a whole lot more than just food. There’s a deeper call here, which leads us to our second and final point, and that is: as dads, we’re called to protect. There’s this call upon us as dads, not just to provide for our families, but to protect our families as well. And I think there is this desire in the heart of most men, this desire in the heart of most dads, to protect our families and protect our children, even with our very lives. And it’s not just physical. I mean, it’s not just to protect our families physically, but to protect them emotionally and to perfect protect their souls. And sometimes we feel powerless. I think a lot of dads feel like they just don’t have the power to protect their kids, don’t have the power to protect their families. There are so many dangers in this world, even physically, and we do not really the power to protect our kids.

Barb and I want to thank those of you who have been praying for us and for our family. This has been a crazy week. Our son Drew and his wife Rachel have a little baby girl named Kenzie, and we just went to visit them. We met down in Florida. Kenzie isfive and a half months, and I was not able to be there when she was born. Barb was there. And for me, this week was the first chance I had to really spend some time with them. We had so much fun just being with them.

Our son is a doctor, and his wife is a nurse. And he’s a surgeon. But even doctors and surgeons cannot control and protect perfectly the health of their children. Even nurses who are moms cannot protect completely the health of their children. So about two weeks ago Kenzie came down with a cold virus. And in a very rare thing, this virus attacked the spinal cord and produced a phenomena known as transverse myelitis (at least that’s how they diagnosed it, as transverse myelitis). And what happens is the virus attacks the myelin sheath which surrounds the spinal cord, and then lesions are formed on the nerves of the spinal cord. And the brain is then cut off from the muscles, and the body is paralyzed so the legs and arms cannot move. The brain cannot even control, in transverse myelitis, the bladder or the bowels.

In many cases, in most cases, it’s nonreversible. So if a child gets it, the child will just grow up paralyzed—just get bigger, but not able to do anything. It’s a really kind of tragic scenario. And you can imagine how Drew and Rachel felt when suddenly their little girl was not able to move. Then they went to Madison, Wisconsin, where at the university hospital they did a spinal tap and MRI.

But we’ve had Drew and Rachel just ask everybody to pray. They love Christ, and we’ve asked everybody to pray. We’re so grateful for your prayers and we feel like God has intervened. The doctors really don’t understand this. The MRI showed no lesions on the nerves, which you find in myelitis, particularly in transverse myelitis. And they still believe that it’s some form of myelitis. They know that the spinal cord has been attacked by the virus. But Kenzie’s getting better. She’s getting better, and she’s starting to move. And our hopes are high, and our joy is great. And we just so deeply appreciate it.

And we know that each of you have hard things and that life so often just seems not fair. And we know that some of you have had some really hard things, and hopefully we all pray for each other. But I think you would agree with me that a dad wants to protect, but a dad doesn’t really have that power. A mom wants to protect, but a mom really doesn’t have that power. Fortunately, we have a Father in heaven, and He has all power in heaven and on earth. And we have a Lord and Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ, who is able to raise even the dead. And I know that there’s a mystery to His sovereign will. But I deeply appreciate your prayers.

I think as dads, since we long to protect as well as provide, the most important thing we can do is pray. And I would ask you, as dads, do you pray every day? Do you have a prayer time set aside where every day you’re on your knees and praying for your family—for your wife, for your marriage, for your children, for your grandchildren? Have you made this a priority as part of what it means to be a dad and what it means to protect?

And of course, we don’t just seek to protect our kids physically. So much more is involved. So when you look at Ephesians, chapter six, verse four, there are two words used here which really show us how we can protect our kids. These two words are, first of all, “nouthesia.”

Nouthesia means to instruct. You bring your children up in the instruction of the Lord. If you would protect them, you must instruct them. So nouthesia, which is a compound Greek word, comes from “nous,” which means “mind,” in the Greek language. And then it comes from “tithami,” which means “to put in.” So, “to put in the mind.” So this is what the call of God is upon dads (and I would say moms too), that we put the right stuff in their minds, that we instruct them in the Lord. So we put the Lord into their minds. We put His Word into their minds. We put His gospel into their minds. We put His love and His message into their minds. We put the right stuff into their minds.

We all know what happened in Boston at the marathon. We all know about that tragic, horrible act of terrorism by two brothers who became killers and bombers. Do you remember what their uncle said? He said, “Somebody radicalized these boys. Somebody radicalized their minds. The wrong stuff was put in their minds. “And some of it came from Islam. Some of it may have come from their mother. But you see, we have this charge as moms and dads to bring our children up in the instruction of the Lord and in His loving truth. And if we would protect them, this is essential all the days of their life.

So, as they’re growing up, you need to carve out time, not just for private prayer, but for your kids and wife and family. You need, as a dad, to carve out time to instruct your kids. You can drop them off by the church. We had VBS this week, as Blake said. That’s a wonderful, wonderful deal. And we seek to serve your kids in Christ and to help you as you seek to nurture them in the admonition in the Lord. But the primary responsibility is yours. So you have to carve out time every week, and perhaps every day, to sit down with your children and instruct their minds. Nouthesia, to instruct their minds in the Lord. This is how we protect them. This is your responsibility. Sit down with them and go through a passage every day or every other day. start somewhere. Go through a passage with them, pray with them. Discuss what it means and what God is saying to us, that they might grow up to honor the Lord and to live a blessed life.

Then, of course we’re told as well that if we would protect them we must discipline them. If we would protect them, we must provide for them both discipline and instruction. So we bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. And the word for discipline is the word “paideo.” Paideo is a nurturing word. It’s a loving word. Discipline might take many forms as we discipline our kids, but it should always be loving, and it should always be nurturing, because this word, paideo, is a very loving, nurturing word.

It’s not easy disciplining kids. About a month and a half ago, Barbara and I had the kids for a week when Heather and Chris were in Africa. Some of you knew that and were praying for them. We appreciate that. So, we had the kids for a week. Every one of our grandchildren are wonderful, and they all have different personalities. Nina is six years old, and she’s just filled with spunk. She said no to Barb, who she calls Mimi, and Barb said, “You’re not to say no to me.” And then she said, no again. And then Barb said, “You’re to obey me and you’re not to defy me.” And then she said no again. And Barb said, “Well, I’m going to have to give you a little spanking.” And then Nina said, “Our family is about to adopt another child, and we’ve been told we need to not spank anymore because it might interfere with the adoption process and make us ineligible for adoption.” And that’s not true. But it was very clever.

And of course, some of you choose to spank. Some of you don’t. Barb said to her, “You’re in Mimi’s house now, and you’re gonna follow Mimi’s rules.” So I know that there’s a variety of opinions in this room, but I believe spanking when it’s properly done and it’s lovingly done and it’s done with a desire for nurture, is very useful. And the reality is that there’s a difference in the Bible between paideo and this other word, “kolaso.” Paideo means discipline, and kolaso means punishment. And usually these words are used very differently and there’s a stark contrast. It is true that sometimes kolaso is used in a positive sense and there can be, on rare occasions, an overlap in meaning, but normally they’re very different. The punishment of hell, eternal punishment, is called kolaso. The word paideo would never be used to refer to the punishment of hell. It would never be used because hell is not redemptive. It’s not remedial. And it’s an expression of justice. Paideo is always administered in love, and oftentimes kolaso in anger, indignation, even wrath—maybe righteous wrath, but it is very different.

Paideo is always administered with a desire for transformation, a desire to mold and shape and grow, whereas kolaso is oftentimes administered with that desire to get even, a desire for justice. They’re very different. As parents, were always to discipline in the sense of paideo. So if you find yourself, as a dad, thinking about discipline and you know that you’re filled with rage, you need to step back and reflect. Give yourself some time, because, whatever you do, it needs to be done in love and with a desire to see transformation and a positive blessing that would come out of it.

So we have these instructions. If we would provide for our kids, and if we would protect our kids and be faithful in this, it’s a lot of work. I mean, we had the kids for a week, and Barb and I are ready for someplace with padded walls. I mean, we’re just tired and maybe a little crazy after having the kids for a week. But you know, it’s the call of God upon us that we would be faithful to not only provide for our families, but to protect them as well, and that means discipline. That means drawing lines that are biblical and godly and enforcing those lines, even though it’s not convenient. Sometimes it’s easier if you just don’t draw any lines at all. Sometimes it’s certainly easier, if you do draw lines, not to enforce them. But this is the call of God, that you would protect your kids. It’s so important. So, we have this instruction.

You know that we have general assembly coming up here this week. Blake mentioned it. We’re excited about this. We hope that you know that really all of our worship events you are invited to. And as much as you can, join with us. We do have 1,100 commissioners—pastors and elders from churches from coast to coast—that’ll be here, but this worship center holds 3,500, so come on out and join us. It’d be great if we didn’t just have ministers in the room ,I mean in the sense of preachers. It would be fun to have some of you.

On Tuesday we have our outreach and Missions conference. We’ll have missionaries from various parts of the world. On Wednesday, we have our pre-assembly workshops with Lee Strobel and Mark Middleburg. Those workshops are actually sold out. But on Thursday and Friday and Saturday, we have the assembly itself. Wednesday night, of course, is the concert. Please come out for the concert at 7:30. Thursday night, we have a worship service. You’re all invited. Dr. Greg Livingstone, the founder of Pioneers, will be speaking. Friday night, we have another worship service in here. And I’m going to be speaking. I’d appreciate any of you who could come out and support me. It’s one thing to preach to a choir. It’s something else to preach to preachers. I’d love some of you here, if you could, on Friday night. But we also have on Thursday morning a worship time with Bill Armstrong, the President of Colorado Christian University. And Bill’s going to be preaching as well next Sunday here. So this is going to be a real busy week, and we just invite you to pray for us and to come out and be part of this.

But I am reminded that last time the General Assembly was here in Denver, we met over at Cherry Creek Presbyterian Church. And at that time, I had just co-chaired the National Committee on Women in Leadership. And everybody in the denomination knew that I am an advocate of women in leadership. And so we fought long and hard at that assembly to make sure that churches can hire women as pastors and leaders. And everybody, I think, came out of that just assuming that I was egalitarian because I’m for women in leadership. And of course, in our denomination, we have egalitarians and complementarians. And the egalitarians believe that basically men and women are not only equal but they were created the same and that there’s no role distinction or function distinction. God pretty much crafted us the same. That’s egalitarian. And that’s really not my view. I’m really complementarian, and I think biblically there’s a greater argument for the complementarian view.

I believe men and women are equal—equally endowed with the imago Dei, with the image of God, equally precious, equally noble in the sight of God, equally loved by God, equal in every way. But I do believe he crafted us a little differently. And we’re meant, when everything’s working right, to complement each other. And I think it’s so important as moms and dads to get together on this stuff we’re talking about so that you’re a united front. We’ve always said to young people when they’re looking at getting married, if they’re a young Christian, “Marry another Christian. Be equally yoked. Marry another Christian so you can pray together. So the stuff you put into your kids’ minds, you’re going to agree on it, so that you can rear them in the nurture of the Lord.”

And it takes two. I mean, we pray for all single parent homes, and we love you, but it really takes a mom and a dad working together by the grace of God. And it takes incredible mercy, because we’re all flawed and we all make many mistakes. I want you to know we’re praying for you. And we need your prayers for us. We are praying for you. We know that it’s not easy being moms and dads. I think it’s the biggest challenge on this earth to be a mom and dad and to do it well. So we’re really praying for you.

But on this Father’s Day, we have just a reminder of Ephesians chapter six, verse four, that we are to provide for our families and for our kids. We are to bring them up, which means feed them and provide for them. And we are to do this in the instruction and discipline, or with the instruction and discipline, of the Lord so we might not only provide, but we would protect. And let’s be faithful in this task and never cease to pray. We need God’s mercy. Well, let’s look to the Lord with a word of prayer.